"Picking my Own Battles"

Today, I had a crit in my casting class.
And I was really excited about this piece- thought I had come a long way, given it a lot of thought...
And of course it didn't turn out how i intented it too.
We had to create a creature out of styrofoam, to be cast in aluminum.
And if that WASNT HARD enough. Sculpture is about EVERYTHING. what you use, how you craft it, if you place in a certain corner if you leave two dots on it instead of three...
anyways, after struggling with the styrofoam I ended up with this octopus thing. And when I layed it on it's side it looked like it could be coming out of something- so i thought I would create an installation and have this tetrapus attacking cars and miniture people!!!!
Awesome?
No. The sand was heavy to haul in, the lil people were too expensive for one time use at the hobby store and the cars didn't look right with the aluminum...
so...it wasn't as awesome as i thought.
My GTA, asked me how crit went..and I realized I can't be mad. Sculpture isn't my thing, I learned a lot. And its a process. He said hey sometimes you gotta pick your battles. And I realized he's right.
I'd much rather work extra hard and go all the way for my watercolor class tomorrow, then be pissy about my sculpture not being so hot, when I know I tried and I didn't want to spend extra money on something I wasn't fully into too...
Next time- i probably should draw my ideas out and pick apart each item and concept.
Next Time- I will for sure have a fully devloped idea.
Third times the charm:)

Poetic RaNT

quite frankly,
I don't want to hear you speak.
Don't want to hear what you think.
Tension as tight as a knot
can't even believe you got us caught up-
this nonsense can't even make sense
if we tried to map it out and trace back
to where the "x" marks the spot.
If you talk a little louder,
maybe everyone will want to hear less of what you have to say,
and if you slur a little more or talk over everyone else's words
maybe then
just then-
will your words stand a chance.
Just because your mouth is moving and the noise is coming out
does not mean it has worth to my ears.
The garbage that is polluting my mind
and stacking it's way to the ceiling of my brain
isn't really helping the headache I already have right now.
So I suggest you hold your tounge-
refrain yourself
from clouding up the neutral grounds that you have invaded.

Unexpected Artistic Breakdown

The day I am suppose to take my work to Art in the Park to show...
I pull out my old charcoals- the one's on here that are from highschool-
and realize...
this is shit.
Well okay not shit. But I used to worship these drawings- think I had skill, talent and- what the heck was i thinking??? no wonder I didn't make it into shows and such!
So why didn't I see that earlier on???
It's funny that you know when you've progressed- and your so estatic about your newest piece of art.
But then a ways down the road you've accelled and see the piece you made last year and think...
wow.
You can really see your progress!
And thank the lord for moms, who even told me how mature that is...
thanks mom cause this means I have very few things to show in the show thats happening tomorrow!!
But..That means I know what looks right- and that my art is progressing?? or at least changing..
I hope progressing!
So..after the artsy enlightenment of art in the park-
I need to create for myself. I need to keep doing it. And I can't stop- even if i feel that it looks like crap. All the crap builds up to the moment where it all makes sense.
(at least..thats how my cousin explained it more formally once)
As a women told me this weekend, this is the time to enjoy, explore and have fun with the process.
So..I better get on it;)

?

Men.
Are more emotional than women,
manipulative,
narcisstic beings-
that can't seem to wrap anyone else's idea's around their own brains.
If it didn't originate from their manly mind
or your idea is to twisted for their kind,
guess it's not okay-
push it back and bury it away...
If they don't understand,
it's never their own fault-
for the other being should have explained it better.
and these stereotypes could be thrown the other way.
Women.
Devious, teasing creatures.
With romantic whimsical ideas,
that are senseless and unproductive.
Horrible drivers, terrible at lying.
Cursed biologically with their moods-
unreasonable feelings and emotions
and too many tears that leak what the other being cannot ever see.
So..
wouldn't it just be easier to be gay?

hahahaha this poem was freehandedly inspired by "revoluntionary road" the movie.
I just found that i had saved it as a draft!

Sooo as stressed as I am..
getting away for a few days in the artsy world has given me a breath of fresh air!!!
Just being imersed in all of the art, talking to all sorts of people and learning about the production and selling of your work...just a big ol learning experience bundled up into one thing!!!
         Witnessed first hand how presentation is everything, and my friend found a fabulous frame for one of my pieces!
          Got tons of feedback on my work, which was GREATLY needed..lots of people liked my style- even though I randomly put in a few newers works and some older ones last minute due to an unexpected artistically emotional breakdown the day before-
and that was awesome to hear because even if no one bought my work, people were interested and fascinated by my work! It did something for them!
And surprisingly many asked how much for my "Paradise" (New York Piece)...that was phenomenal to hear because that is a personal piece! I guess they noticed and that made it more attractive?
 So much happened in two days...
And the beautiful thing is, that I feel fresh on art. Even thought I'm not encouraged to finish my projects for school I am inspired to create for myself!
        And i can't wait to take a ceramic class! Those mint mugs were so adorable :)

arn't we..."victims of society"?

Who decides...
what is okay?
Thin is good.
The American Dream?
Society- concludes everything. But if we are all amounting up to what society expects us to be, then how will we ever know what we actually are?
It seems to me that everyone is a people pleaser- especially with the case to please there parents. Why is it that these people who have raised us- determine what we do is not good enough? And as much as we don't want to- we try to please them. make them proud? Is it engraved into our system that we have to outdo them and be acceptable to their standards?
Because arn't parents equivilent to the whispers of society. No one plainly writes out, what is okay. and what isn't. But if not everyone is doing it, it's wrong. insane. mental?
What if those who are mental- are actually right. They see what is real.
Because what even is real?
If we are blinded by societies preconcieved notions about what the norm is, or what is okay...then we are all victims of society!
Why can't we go for what we want...because someone we love doesn't want to?
To try and please someone else? Because we are afraid of losing them...
we are afraid.
That is the reason we succumb to societies expectations.
We are scared to be different, to lead the way, to try and amount to what we hope to be..and possibly fail.
If we are afraid, then we are scared of something not quite real. Fear.
Fear makes us victims of society.
Bravery, the cure to expected.

Abstract Practice

"Sometimes you need a little rain"

Originally, the painting was suppose to be this way- horizontal. That way the orange represents rain, across the contrasting blue. I wanted to make it represent a falling, but a balanced and controlled falling. It reminded me of rain, and sort of that yin and yang theory of one not being able to exsist without the other...

However, my family liked it this way- so i thought I'd show it vertical as well.

I wish it wasn't so controlled...i would like it a little freer- but I didn't know if there was anything else i could do to it...maybe ill go back to it in awhile..